How to Become the Best Version of Yourself—5 Tips that Work!


“You have a unique gift that only YOU can share with the world. Own it.”

“You have the power to make your dream life come to reality. Wield it.”

You’ve probably heard or been told those lines a thousand times, but how much do you believe in them?

Think about it. How often do you find yourself self-sabotaging your success simply because you feel like an imposter for wanting something seemingly out of your reach?

How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something you truly wanted to do but didn’t end up doing because, well. . .you somehow believe that you weren’t going to succeed anyway?

When was the last time you heard that little voice in your head whisper, “You’re not enough”? Or the last time you found yourself doubting whether you could actually get things done?

All of us, at some point in our lives, have had to deal with such negativities (or even worse). Life isn’t a bed of roses, after all, and whether we like it or not, there’s no way we’ll get to have the perfect set of circumstances.

Now you probably wish you could do away with those negative thoughts altogether, but here’s a quick reality check: You can’t!

So instead of wishing all the negativities away (and failing each time), focus on coming up with a way so those thoughts don’t overpower all the positivity in you. You see, all those nagging self-doubts can go full blast and keep you from being the best version of yourself. But of course, that only happens if and when you allow those negative thoughts to take center stage in your life.

So what now?

Well, it’s about time that we dig into all the ways you can unhook from your negative thoughts so they don’t end up running (and ruining) your life!

Tip # 1: Create your reality instead of just waiting for things to happen

Just waiting around for things to fall into place won’t get you anywhere. So rather than just wish for all the pieces to fall in place, act towards the reality you wish for yourself. Ever heard of the Law of Attraction? The more you act in alignment with your goals, the more things will turn out the way you want them to. 

So rather than feel glum because your life is less than perfect, look for ways to make good things happen. As long as you’re open to making the needed changes in your life, there’s always an opportunity to turn things around for the better.

Tip # 2: Stop running away from your fears

Fear is a normal emotion and a constant part of life. So if you want to learn how to live better, you need to figure out how to handle this unpleasant emotion. See the keyword here? It’s “handle”, not “get rid of”. We can’t possibly be 100% free from fear, but we can grow to become more effective at dealing with it. And the key here is to separate yourself from the emotion.

Keep in mind that you are not your thoughts. Sure, you may be scared of something, but if you work on looking at your fears objectively, you can keep this emotion under control. Otherwise, your fears will continue chasing after you. So learn to dance with your fears. Acknowledge it, but keep in mind that you are greater than and more powerful than your emotions. 

Tip # 3: Don’t fight negative thoughts

Negative thoughts have a way of dragging us down. Ever noticed how we feel depressed or anxious each time things don’t seem to go our way? Some people let these negative emotions take charge, and as a result, they end up too emotionally ‘paralyzed’ to function well and turn things around.

We don’t want that to happen, do we?

So the next time you feel bogged down by negativity remember to act immediately! Acknowledge the presence of those negative thoughts, but rather than struggle to get rid of them, work on shifting your attention to positive things instead. 

Tip # 4: Define what success means to you

For some people, success may mean a stable career and millions stashed in their bank account. But you and I both know that this kind of success does not need to be your definition. Just because everyone’s talking about $10k months doesn’t mean this has to be your goal. 


Success can mean different things to different people. So rather than follow what everyone else is chasing after, and feeling like an imposter simply because you know deep inside that you long for different things, think deeply about what success looks like to you. Only by defining your success will you be able to work towards a specific goal and live each day accordingly. 

Tip # 5: Determine what matters most

What values do you live by? What matters most to you as a person? Often, there’s a wide gap between our expectations and reality simply because we live each day without really putting much thought into how our actions now could affect our future. 

If we truly want to be the best version of ourselves, we need to live with intention. Ask yourself, who do you want to be 10 years from now? What can you do now to make that vision a reality? Journal your thoughts and try to determine what you’re truly passionate about. By being clear on your values and doing things that are aligned to these values, you are gradually building a bridge to close the gap between your reality and the life you envision.

A final thought

The journey towards being a better version of yourself is not going to be easy, but neither is it impossible. So many others like you have gone down the path to self-improvement and have succeeded! Now it’s your turn to take action. It’s your turn to pivot and shift your mindset.

Need more help? Download my Ultimate Guide to Boosting Your Self-Confidence today and gain the boost of confidence you need so you can show up and start living the life you know you deserve!


About the Author

I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of New Jersey. I specialize in helping women, couples, and teens learn how to live richer, more meaningful lives. While I take a warm, collaborative approach to therapy, I also like to keep it real; am relatively direct, and tend to (compassionately) call it as I see it.

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